With Six you get Eggroll

    I’m turning 40 soon. Wait, let me say that again. I will be FORTY soon!  I’ve been saying that for a year now and then immediately saying in my head with my best Scarlett O’Hara voice, “I’ll think about that tomorrow, tomorrow IS another day.” (That I’m NOT turning 40!!)      I can’t really say I’m scared about turning forty.  I’ve watched many others do it before me and life apparently goes on, however, there is a sinking feeling inside.  Kinda like when you’re young and you know you have to go to work tomorrow or start the next semester of school soon.  You would do ANYTHING (or at least I would have) to keep that day from coming, but you know you can’t.  It will come. You will have to face it.       I don’t remember getting older really.  I remember turning 30 and not caring at all (understand that’s the day I found out my mom had cancer, but that’s another story). The rest of those birthdays are a blip in my m...

Have you ever gone out on a hypothetical limb before?  For some of us it’s a daily occurrence (Bless).   For others like me, it’s just a bit too risky for my liking.  I’ve never enjoyed climbing trees to begin with so going out in a limb just didn’t happen! (See what I did there?)  I’m a planner, organizer, juggle all the balls, schedule the day down to the toilet break (exaggeration), stick to the plan, color inside the lines, wash, dry, and fold all in one day kind of gal. (I hear you Judgy McJudgerson) Needless to say, there is little room for limb crawling.  However, there are a handful of times I have “nosed” my way out to the edge.  The feeling is unnatural and frightening to me.  Our moves across the country for one, was always considered (in my opinion) a leap of faith.  Hoping we were making the right decision to uproot everyone again.  The choices to leap are occasionally an all or nothing verdict.  These are far scarier. I was...

  I’ve had a tough few months. Sure I don’t show my struggles to everyone but who does?   I’ve learned to be pleasing- smile, listen, don’t complain too much, be helpful, and leave em with a laugh here and there.   Those that know me well however, have learned when I speak and give a certain chuckle at the end, I’m most likely hiding how much the topic is affecting me. This world has conditioned us to put on a brave face and soldier on. (Great qualities! Not so easy!).   Don’t offend anyone and by all means don’t burden everyone with your simple problems!  Well I’m not ok with that everyday and I think it’s ok to NOT be ok all the time! So there world!!  (I’m sticking out my tongue now) Why do we (mostly women) cover up our true emotions? Especially with those we see on a regular basis?  Maybe we feel the need to uphold a view that others have of us (Shes always so happy and put together! Well you didn’t see her last night at her ropes end!). Possibly ...

My adopted motto : "We know a thing or two, because we've seen a thing or two." - StateFarm commercial     I have held 10+ paying jobs in my lifetime.  All of them in a span of 6 years between the ages of 15 and 22.  I was not a good hire.  My passions were always somewhere else.  Most that knew me, knew I wanted to be a wife and mommy, if I couldn't fulfill my secret dream of singing in a band and traveling the world.  I filled my parents' and societies' expectations with my small interest in biology and helping others, by going to school to be a nurse.  I held a job in a hospital for 6 months as a CNA and quickly realized I didn't want to wipe up and feed people I didn't know. Enter MOMMYHOOD! God knew I would need all that experience for the perfect job he had planned for me.  I have held the title of Stay-at-home-mom for 15+ years now.  In other cash paying careers I would be considered a professional or executive in my field....

   When my 13 year old son was in preschool, they had a special "Moms" day.  The class sang us a song and showed off the many skills they had learned getting ready for their big step into Kindergarten the following year.  The teachers had asked all the little ones to draw a picture for their mom expressing something she does for them.  I peeked at the others drawings as they were passed out and read aloud.  Mostly stick figures with flowers or something resembling a sink with dishes or desk with a computer.  I was anxious to see what my little guy had thought of when prompted to remember the numerous tasks his mother (ME) did for him daily.  (dishes, laundry, no I got it!... making food!! He loved dinner time!)  They held up his drawing and read the description. (they had written on the bottom what he told them it was)  "There was a man and he exploded."  The picture was in all black and looked exactly like something had exploded on...

    Can you recall your first memory?  I can.  It's an up close visual of my moms' ear. When I close my eyes, I can see it vividly.  I must be lying on her shoulder.  I still know what it felt like to play with her earring.  I can still smell the hairspray.  When I close my eyes, I can hear her singing.  She had a voluminous alto voice.  I can still hear her playing the piano.  Her style was definable, with the runs and pretty extra notes played between the melody of the song and especially on the ending.  I can hear her silly baby voice talking to something tiny and cute like an animal or baby.  I can hear the tone of her voice when she was frustrated followed by the inevitable mom sigh.  When I close my eyes, I can see her fingers. Very nimble, flowing over the keys of the piano or painting or drawing (she was extraordinary at them all), or sewing.  I can see her shirt covered in flour or grease from slaving in...

     I recently read a quote that says. " In raising my children, I have lost my mind but found my soul."  This could not be more true about me.  When my first two kids were small I still felt a bit sane! I had control.  I was on top of things.  Now, I'm certain I have gone temporarily insane, and it seems this time of year shows that thought to be more true every time it comes around.       Back to school season is arduous and demanding.  It comes up on you so quickly.  We are lazy, relaxed, and remiss of the daily grind, then... WHAM!!  You abruptly realize, "School Starts In Two Weeks!!" I was happily enjoying my simple summer and now I have to cram haircuts, shopping, and open house meetings into the quickly approaching, limited days.  Not to mention the new fall sports season calendar.  Practices, games, shows.....it all starts NOW!       I'm caught between if relaxing all summer is a good t...